Title: Dinner for Vampires

Author: Bethany Joy Lenz

Genre: Memoir

Rating: Unranked

Why I read it: book club selection for January

This memoir is challenging—it’s at times really dark, emotional, and sad. If I rated memoirs, it’s everything a five-star rating should encompass, but I’m sitting here struggling to put words to why it would deserve that rating. Something is just missing for me.

The voice in the back of my head is yelling, “Who are you to judge how she told her story? Isn’t that the whole point of a memoir—telling the story how you want it to be told?” And yes, subconscious, that is exactly the point. And just as it’s her prerogative to write her story the way she wants to, I’m allowed to consume her work in my own way. But I hate to admit it—a part of me just didn’t connect with this book.

Don’t get me wrong, I have an insane amount of empathy for her and what she endured. To be in a cult, trying to work, with your entire life dictated by essentially a self-serving dictator who doesn’t have your best interests at heart—that’s awful. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Clearly, she came out on the other side (or this book wouldn’t exist), and I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful she was strong enough to share her story with us, so that, if nothing else, we can all better understand abuse victims—of all kinds.

This may surprise you, but I’ve never seen One Tree Hill. Many reviews I read expressed disappointment about the light coverage of the show, and I can see where those readers are coming from. But since I’m not a viewer and didn’t read this book because of the show, I didn’t feel the coverage was lacking. In fact, I think she shared just enough. Her life was so consumed by the drama in her personal world that One Tree Hill became a kind of refuge. I’m not sure it would’ve been appropriate for her to include more behind-the-scenes details about the show while detailing how her world was falling apart.

Admittedly, one of the main draws of this book for me is my fascination with cults. I’ve never understood how people get swept up in that chaos, and Joy provided so much insight into how it happens—and why those in such situations cannot (and should not) be blamed. I don’t think I’ll ever look at cults the same way again after reading this.

After holding space for this book upon finishing the last pages, and writing this review, I think I’ve realized the main reason I’m struggling to connect: her relationship with her religion versus my relationship with mine. And that’s not fair. My personal issues do not invalidate her experiences nor her opinions, and certainly not how she chose to tell that story to the world. 

TL;DR: Would I recommend it to a friend? Maybe. It covers some dark topics, and I think it heavily relies on your interest in One Tree Hill or cults to pique your curiosity. But once you dive in, you won’t want to come up for air until the final page.